Reflecting back, glimpsing forward. It feels like we are smack right in the middle. Mid-life at 37? Middle of a pandemic? Middle of a government transitional shift? In the middle of a country divided.
Being in between is uncomfortable. In 2020 I was in between jobs. In the middle of a move across the country. In the middle of a lockdown/shelter in place/socially distanced world. I hadn’t yet made any friends in our new town and my husband was {and currently is} IN the Middle East. With all races postponed, then cancelled, we were all in between. Experiencing this collective feeling of “what now?” and “why even bother?” – motivation waned.
January 1, 2021 was a date that so many looked forward to. Now with 2020 behind us, most of us realize nothing has changed. Just a flip of the calendar. A bank holiday. Yet a glimpse of hope – seeing so many healthcare workers {so many friends!} receiving the vaccine is the one big sigh of relief felt globally. But it only makes us realize how much more work is left.
The 2020 DIY adventures helped pass the time and give a semblance of purpose. House projects and a new job has put a bit of structure back into my life. And a wee bit of sunshine has given me some time to reflect and look forward to what’s ahead and to you know, enjoy this time in the middle.
I’ve had a few people ask what’s on tap for 2021. Carbon copy / paste last year’s calendar with all the deferrals, add in the vaccine, and there you have it. I experienced a lot of anxiety last year regarding that calendar and I’m vowing to not let it cripple me in these months upcoming. In this time of continued “unknown” I vow to live my current life, not the one worrying about what may or may not happen.
And I’ve realized what that means to me is giving up this false hope of “doing well.” You know – podium’ing or getting a PR or beating the sun or raising my FTB or losing weight OR, OR!! – these pressure ridden / anxiety inducing / event and number based wickets. For 2021, I’m going against the SMART goals protocol and giving myself some less tangible ones.
Be gracious. Of myself. Of others.
Be a positive representative of sport. Spread stoke.
Explore more. Take different routes. Go a different direction. Stop. Look. Take the photo.
Ride hard.
I recognize that last one may seem contradictory to the others, but what I’ve realized since coming to the land of Vitamin D {more on that later} is that I like riding my bike. Fast. I like suffering. I love washing the salt off my face after a hard effort. I have to remind myself not to forget that.
I’m starting the year off with a bunch of miles in my legs, a head start to the #willsdynasty crown, too many new freckles, and a constructive look forward, to whatever that may be. Here’s to an exploratory, gracious, & positive year ahead.
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